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Celebrating the 4th with a few friends.
Friday morning work station, writing a few words about models of femininity, Mary Magdalene, courageous Love, and what is being asked of us in these trying times. The messiness of my “desk” is reflective of the messiness of my mind trying to pull all the threads together., but #persistence
Sudsy Sunday #signoflove Can you see it? Took@me a while but Tim kept insisting it was there - in his beer- and would i please take another look so he could have another drink? #foundit
Earthbound #signoflove❤ today. Let’s remember - when we are buried, at our lowest, even then, especially then, Love rises up. Let’s use the love we have to lift up others, especially the ones who are lost.
I spent a fair amount of time this morning, scrolling through my iPhone photos, trying to find a good one to post of Tim in honor of Father’s Day. I have some of us as a family at parties and on trips, and some of he and I on dates, or at concerts. But those were just said “Hey, here we are! They were fine, but they didn’t really tell a story about what I like most about Tim as a father. Then I came across some pictures of us at some of this year’s protest marches, including the 2ndAnnual Women’s March and the March for our Lives after the Parkland shootings. Those were better, because it’s one of the things I most appreciate about Tim as a father - the example he has set for our kids that part of being an adult is a willingness to stay open, learn and advocate for others.
But this morning, Tim had a funny request. He wanted to go see the new Mr. Rodgers documentary called, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” I didn’t see that request coming, but why not? All our kids were working, so we had a couple hours to kill. I highly recommend the film, but there was one moment in particular that brought me to tears. I won’t give it away, but Mr. Rodgers sings one of his classic songs, “It’s You I Like” with a guest on the show. If you dont’t remember, it goes like this.
It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear,
It's not the way you do your hair
But it's you I like.
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys
They're just beside you.
But it's you I like
Every part of you.
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself
It's you.
It's you I like.
That’s it, I thought.
That’s why Tim is such a good father. He makes it clear to each of our very different children that he likes them as they are. They don’tt have to be perfect; they don’t have to change; they don’t have to be shaped or molded or directed by him. It's not that he doesn't parent them, or help them make good decisions, but first and foremost, I think they hear him.
One of the conversations the Lad and I have over text on a weekly and sometimes daily basis is in reference to a line from a Mary Oliver poem: “Everyday I see or hear something that more or less kills me with delight.” I might ask, “What killed you today bud?” He knows what I mean... tonight, I offered him three of my own. Sunset in San Diego, a surf session with a friend from the OC who is the Sultan of Stoke and a line of poetry from Seamus Heaney. It was a good night and the only thing that would have made it better was if he was here with us, but sooner enough that will be true too. #be.here.now
